So the problem with having a boyfriend who is 6,000 miles away is sex. Obviously! Duh. Yeah, it’s really frustrating. Coming to think of it. Euurhnm Cumming to think of it… or him. Lol! Either way. Masturbation is becoming a way of life. Lol! Like, it’s not huh? Oh well. So yeah, I have my wild thoughts. Not really that wild like having a baby. Lol! I know someone who have some of that. Teehee! *roll eyes*

Just in time I have found this product vibrating cock ring. I think I would really love it. I have no doubt I will get moe than 100%. I think I would enjoy cuming with my bf. No more cuming before or after each other. Plus, it has that tickling effect. Easy does it, baby. All these bottled up sexual feeling and that ring. I think i would not stop for a day. Seriously.

Is your long distance relationship taking its toll or your sex life? Or maybe you’re just bored at home and your partner’s doing the same? Trying out some phone sex wouldn’t hurt, except maybe when you’re real bad at it. And once upon a time you had to have been at least a little curious at trying it out right? Then here are some quick tips to help you. (If you don’t have a partner there are always free phone sex lines, go ahead and look some up, there’s also a sex chat service too if you don’t feel like speaking)

First of all make sure your timing’s right. Nothing kills the mood quicker than calling at a bad time. And always make sure both of you are alone and that no one else could walk in on your naughty little deed, but if you’re feeling adventurous then to go ahead, if that turns you on more.

So now it’s been established that you’re both alone and in the mood, but don’t start talking dirty just yet, start off with something like “I called because I can’t get you off my mind” or something like that. When you’ve got their attention then start reminding them of sex, then proceed to how you like to get it done, you have to be really creative here, use colorful and detailed descriptions of what you’d like to do and what you would like your partner to do to you, of course you can let the other person do the talking if you’re more comfortable with that, but at least participate, and also avoid using proper or medical terms, the point here is to talk dirty, unless maybe you’re a doctor.

Pleasuring yourself may not be necessary but it’ll definitely add to the excitement, it’ll be even better if you have a speakerphone or a hands free headset (a webcam would be nice too) and don’t forget to make those oh so sexy sounds.

I hope this helps those long distance lovers out there, because it really does suck being apart from your love. Enjoy!

Think fruits are only for eating? Well you probably don’t eat them anyway but here’s a little something for those who want a little extra oomph in the sack, or if you’re just too lazy to do a little seducing, maybe you can feed her some of these and hope that you’ll get lucky tonight. Most of these fruits are available at your local grocery, but you’re going to have to look a little bit harder for some of them depending on where you live. You can eat it as it is or if you’re the romantic type that has some decent cooking skills you might want to try some of these recipes.

Apple. Ah, the apple, the temptation of Eve - the downfall in the Garden of Eden. But then, what pretty girl could ever pass up a shiny, lipstick red, orchard-fresh fruit of the gods? The ancient Greeks also loved the apple. Instead of slipping a ring onto a fair maiden’s finger, a Greek warrior was supposed to toss an apple to the - ah - apple of his eye. If she caught the fruit, the act was as good as an engagement.

Apricot. This fuzzy fruit can make you feel fuzzy all over because it can have a calming effect on the body. It is used frequently as a base in essential oils. Even William Shakespeare mentions the apricot in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Long ago, the fruit was used to symbolize female genitalia because of its shape.

Avocado. The Aztecs called the avocado tree “Ahuacuatl” which when translated means “testicle tree”. The ancients thought the fruit hanging in pairs on the tree resembled the male’s testicles. This is a delicious fruit with a sensuous texture.

Bananas. The banana flower has a marvelous phallic shape and is partially responsible for popularity of the banana as an aphrodisiac food. An Islamic myth tells the tale that after Adam and Eve succumbed to the “Apple” they started covering their “nudity” with banana leaves rather than fig. From a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.

Durian. Durian, a nutritious fruit native to Southeast Asia, is packed with proteins, minerals, antioxidants and other phytonutrients. For those who can get past its unpleasant aroma, Durian flesh is rich, juicy, and custard-like, and may be spooned out and eaten as is or used in beverages, ice cream, or custards. The flesh is believed to help destroy and expel intestinal parasites.

Figs. An open fig is thought to emulate the female sex organs and traditionally thought of as sexual stimulant. A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh Black Mission figs in a cool bowl of water as it is done in Italy and be sure to eat with your fingers!

Peach. The peach is a seductive fruit by virtue of its shape and other characteristics. It has been attributed with seductive qualities but scientifically, it may be due to the vitamins and minerals present in the fruit which contributes to the body’s well-being.

Pomegranate. The pomegranate is a symbol of fertility with its abundant seeds. For the Chinese, the pomegranate symbolizes prosperity in an abundant household.

Pineapple. Rich in vitamin C and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Add a spear to a sweet Rum drink for a tasty prelude to an evening of passion.

Raspberries and Strawberries. Perfect foods for hand feeding your lover. Both invite love and are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples. Both are high in vitamin C and make a sweet light dessert.

Now I won’t be responsible if you give it to someone else other than your girl (you probably won’t get some anyway, cheating bastard). Also, keep in mind that it doesn’t work for everyone, but it wouldn’t hurt to try right? It’s a healthy snack anyway. With that said, happy eating, and then some.

It’s not really that hard. Of course, it takes a real man to do so. I mean, there is the technical way. But before anything you should be able to put her in the mood:

Never Ask. I don’t know but some guys just ask. It’s really a turn off. MFcking turn off! It cuts of that moment from even happening. If you know how to touch, there you go. But hey, don’t touch her there directly. Start from the top and work your way down. Geezh like every guy should know the importance of stimulation.

Hold Back A Little. Just because you’re so horny you’re just going for the goal. No! Have a little reservation. Ease up man! Gently and slowly, that’s the way if you want to see that look in her face. Oh yeah! That look, yeah?

Be Clean. Hygiene is necessary. If you have plans, then wash your hands. Trim those fingernails. You don’t want her to have some kind of disease, right? After all she is your girlfriend. Eventually, you are going to do here now and then. Don’t give me that condom excuse. Be responsible for her and the both of you.

For a detailed and technical instruction on the fingering process, CLICK HERE.